tita av's says...

Macugay Newsletter 2011

2011-12-27T22:42:00.000-08:00

days of spiritual dryness, dark nights of my life

2011-12-16T08:50:00.000-08:00

I can't even remember when this was, between September til mid November 2011. This was one of my most spiritually dry season in life. The busyness of work has overwhelmed me so much. I allowed satan to grab hold of me and he used that busyness for me to have a very blurred vision of how my God, my Jesus was watching over me. I knew in my heart of His promise in Romans 8:28 and yet, I couldn't see the whole picture, I couldn't see Him. It was like a very dark cloud hovering all over me, that it created doubts, big time, in myself, i was scared, i couldn't believe that i amount to nothing, i truly felt helpless, lost and very angry.

he used one of my supervisors, and the way she worded things to me...satan was so deceiving. For her to say to me, "how can i help you be more efficient in your work?". That very line drew darkness over me. I was so tired, physically tired, not enough rest, not enough sleep, working my butt off and then, telling me I am inefficient? Wow, it really blew me away! I felt so alone, I truly felt so angry. I was ready to walk out. The only thing that stop me was my family's need for the very dollars that sustain us, the medical benefits, but I was ready to walk out. I was about to give up...

...But comes again the very presence of God. Jesus in His Mighty, All knowing ways, at the end of the cliff where I am hanging, grabs me once again, in ways only me and Him can hear, listen, and finally say, "okay Lord, you said You are so much bigger than this! You said, You have conquered this world, You said, I am yours and that I belong to You, then save me once more, because I really NEED YOU to help me get up again."

Prayer of a good friend, a psalm to read from my daughter (psalm 13) and this passage from one of my email devotional. Yes, Undo my heart once again Lord, refresh me. Help me to see that it is not that person, but satan using that person to divert me away from you, but greater are YOU who is in me, than he who is in this world, because Jesus, You reign, You live and You WIN!!!
Thank you that You prove Yourself over and over that YOU are my GOD!!!

Holy Spirit, continue to lve in me, giving me the discernment to always know of your presence, never leaving me nor forsaking me, for always picking me up when I can't simply go on, when you constantly remind me that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, that it is not my own strength or knowledge, but Yours, and yours alone. Thank you for teaching me not to depend on my very own, but showing me how you can take over and win the battle for me.

I am still going through the motions, but Jesus has impressed this confidence again that good days are ahead of me. But I need to do my part, to continue to connect daily with Him, to stop and breathe, take a few steps backward, and not jump in the circus of worklife, above all, see Jesus leading my way, holding my hands, and look back and tell "them", Jesus got me, not you!

Undo my heart, exactly what's inside my heart. To whoever will read this, learn from it, because in this lifetime, indeed, Jesus is the only ONE we can truly depend on...I pray that in your dark moments, in your dark nights, you'll see the true light. God showed me my "rainbow" again.
God bless us all..

Undo My Heart
(posted by JD-KLove Radio: from Blake Williams)

I don’t really worship these day
I don’t really stand up to praise you with songs
Or prayers or actions
or with anything
I am full of all the right moves
I am full of all the right words
I am full of all the right religion
But it is all just illusion
I am really
Lonely
Lost
Calloused
Jaded
Cynical
Too religious
Too realistic
and well really just to lazy
to worship you anymore
I have lost my first love
I have lost the joy of your presence
But most of all I have lost the fear of your glory
Father I need to see you again
Like Isaiah I want to stand in awe of your glory
To fall down at your feet
To come face to face with your
Perfection,
Radiance,
Goodness,
Holiness,
Awesomeness
I want to stand before you and see you for who you are
and me for who I am
I want to be undone
I want to know me for who I really am
I want to see the depths of my heart
And know that you are the only way
You are the only truth
You are the only life
I want to see me and understand
What it really must have taken for you to
Love me
Care for me
See me
Speak to me
Want me
Communicate with me
Die for me
Die for me
Die for me
Lord, I want to stand in that place where all I can see is your glory
And my sin
Because in that place I can’t help but worship you.
Lord let me come undone
Undo my heart
Lord, undo my heart
break down these walls that I love so much
No, wait don’t,
I’m scared I don’t know if I can handle this
don’t
But I can’t live this way anymore
I can’t stand here in this half-life
this going through the motions life
this not really alive life
Father, I need you so come in and do what you must
Cut out the tumor on my heart
Break down the walls that I love
Lord let me come undone
Undo my heart
let me worship you again

my friend Nelson...

2011-07-15T12:29:00.001-07:00

July 31, 2011, my friend joined his Loving Creator...

months, weeks and even day
I saw the deterioration of your physical body,
But seeing instead, the strength of your heart,
Saw your inner fighting spirit, your will to live,

the long awaited time of glorious surrender.

i uttered for you instead;

"ready my soul, O Lord, my God, quicken still, my thoughts of you,for any moment now, of my glorious surrender;welcome me in your loving embrace, so finally I can say, I am all yours through eternity."

...Thank you my friend, for manifesting to me the great love you have for your family, and your friends. I know that they love you, just like the way our Heavenly Father loves you. Keep watch of us, from the heavens where you are, and always say a prayer for each one of us, a good word to our Great Father and God. SHALOM, my friend, til we meet again...

3 Things I lerned about my friend:

1. You love, you forgive.

2. Enjoy life the best way you can.

3. Keep dignity even in your last moment.

Mother and Father's day 2011

2011-06-20T12:15:00.000-07:00

To you, my friend...

2011-04-14T11:55:00.000-07:00

in the sudden moment of it all, you come along, with no advanced notice. all of a sudden, you take residence, you took over. after leaving me breathless, you made me lifeless. You are cruel! Then, in a moment's time, I thought you left. and long after, you came back again, because you are a traitor! Okay, you've got me alright, you own my body; my entire life, you cut short. But one thing for sure, You can't take my spirit within me, Because "SOMEONE"else owns me. I know where I'm headin', and where I'm going, you can no longer follow, You lose after all, and I certainly win!

what? 52??

2011-04-05T09:49:00.000-07:00

I know, I can't believe I am now 52 yrs old. 10 more years and I can retire, if I want to and if there's enough $$ to sustain us for our daily needs, haha... I am just thankful to my Creator that I got to where I am now. I don't have the riches of this world, but my riches lies in my relationships with my family and friends. Every passing year, a lot of things have become clearer and clearer as to how Jesus is ordaining my life. Not all pleasant, and yet, it is those that taught me so much in life. There's a bridge in a song that Ria gave me in a CD and it goes...

"Lord, let me take your Word and shine it all around, first let me learn to live it, Lord. And when i do it well, help me to never seek the crown, for my reward is giving glory to You.

And that is how I want my life to be, that it will not matter much about me, what I want or what I desire, but that my wants, my desires be what He wants for me.

As I thread the mid-life, I still aspire some things though, but I want it with no pressure, only as I please and when I can. I can't say this is what I want to accomplish this year, but something along the highway of my life...sort of a bucket list:

1. To learn to play the guitar and be able to play and sing for my Bible/prayer group meetings. Realistically, this will take me a while, but for now, to just learn the chords and to practice regularly. 2. To write. Anything, short story, fiction/non-fiction combination, but with me putting my heart into it. I recently connected to an old classmate and he's one among the few that I got an encouraging word, just write! All along, my husband and daughter kept saying that to me but I felt like I don't have the depth when I write stuff...but I will, I really will. 3. To attend a reunion of any of my class, elementary, high school or college. Just one reunion will do. This one seems to be the most feasible, as it can happen soon, maybe this year.

how blessed are we?

2011-03-08T11:33:00.000-08:00

This morning, I was so tempted to take a picture of this lady in the train station that I ride with ocassionally, but I remembered what my daughter always tell me that I just can't take a shot of people. Well, let me describe her then to you readers. She's in a wheelchair because she has no feet and no hands. She only has her torso, and her arms length is only up to her elbow, maybe not even. In her electronic monitored wheelchair, she has her prosthetic arms behind in her chair. As I watched her from behind, I couldn't help but think of what goes through her mind every time, when she is outside, maybe when she goes to work? or maybe en route to go home? I really do not know and my limited mind can't grasp what it is that goes through her head. It just makes me wonder what makes her go through the day. I wonder if that is me in that kind of predicament, what kind of hope will I have day in and day out? Would I even be hopeful? motivated to live? or just wish I'm dead and give up?
But that's when God's word comes in, His promises, His assurances to us, particularly His line in Matthew 28:20b, .."and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." I know this verse speaks about the Great commission to go and share His word of salvation, but I find so much comfort in those lines, that no matter what we go through, He is Emmanuel, the God who is always with us, that He never leave us nor forsake us, that He is the God that never change, that He is the same, yesterday, today and even tomorrow. Isn't that wonderful? So Assuring and comforting? It gives me a sense of security in my position in Christ.
Stanley shared today in his devotional that if we call Him the Soverreign, All Knowing, Powerful God, do we really believe in what we declare? Do we really believe and trust that HE IS ALL THAT? I hope you do, because I DO! Everyday, I have to transform my mind and have it renewed so that I can attest and justify WHO I truly believe IS ALL that! Jesus my God, my Saviour, my helper, comforter, forgiver, my guide, source of my hope and life, and my eternal destiny! My refuge and my rock, my source of joy and content in this adventurous life journey!
I hope you know how blessed you are, because I DO! My prayer for that lady is that in God's special ways and time, she will know Jesus intimately and enjoy a wonderful relations with the greatest hero, companion of all.

The David in Me...

2011-02-24T15:01:00.001-08:00

Cast me not away from your presence O Lord, take not your Holy Spirit from me...Psalm 51:11

Though I get lost in the ocean of confusion and just be drifting, save me, O God.

Lead me ashore, toYour solid ground where I can stand firmly; for You are my refuge and my strength.

Lead me to the Rock that is Higher than I am, Jesus, the Rock of my salvation.

I will dread the day if and when I lose my discerning between evil and good, bad from right, God forbid. Though I may have offended you thousand times, over and over, please, forgive me and never ever leave my side.

Keep the conviction in my heart to choose your righteousness, rather than my selfishness.

O Jesus, I love you dearly. Thank you for Your saving grace.

That's why we keep reading the WORD...everyday!

2011-02-15T10:41:00.000-08:00

Sunday, February 13, 2011

We, however, have the mind of Christ. (1 Corinthians 2:16 TEV)

"If you imagine discipleship as a physical journey, then you can easily see that the more time you spend with Jesus, the more you will begin to understand his way of thinking."
(This devotional is by Jon Walker, editor of the Daily Hope Devotionals and author of Costly Grace.)
When Jesus calls you, he expects you to begin thinking like him. Pastor Buddy has been teaching us how important this is in order for God to enable real, lasting change in the way we make choices and the way we behave.
Learning to think like Jesus isn’t as impossible as it sounds because the Apostle Paul says we have been given the mind of Christ: “As the scripture says, ‘Who knows the mind of the Lord? Who is able to give him advice?’ We, however, have the mind of Christ.’” (1 Corinthians 2:16 TEV)
The issue is in accessing the mind of Christ as you mediate upon God’s Word and listen to the Holy Spirit, who is your guide into all truth. (John 16:13) If you imagine discipleship as a physical journey, then you can easily see that the more time you spend with Jesus, the more you will begin to understand his way of thinking.
As you walk with him day in and day out, you will become intimate with his likes and dislikes; you will see what he sees and hear what he hears. You will know what he cares about and you will know what he considers insignificant, petty, or distracting.
You will witness how he responds to problems, criticism, truth, exhaustion, excitement, expectations, disappointments, hunger, poverty, love, laughter, accusations, manipulation, sorrow, sin, tension, distrust, redemption, rejection, legalism, ritual, religion, hypocrisy, happiness, joy, and you will learn what he thinks about your future.
All of this is will teach you to think from God’s perspective, to engage the mind of Christ available to you through the Holy Sprit.

whooaa, where did January go???

2011-02-03T09:32:00.000-08:00

really, where did January go? All that's stayed in my thoughts was mom arriving, bringing her to the dr's and the ER because of her back pain, diagnosed as sciatica and then back again to the dr's for her acidity and pananamlay...one trip she had that's taking quite a bit to recover. seriously, i need to think of saving as much so she can stay in a warm location during winter season here in the US. hhhuummmmm, now ria and andrew's idea of moving to maui kinda seems getting to be a good idea huh? see this view? that's the maui coast, wonderful huh?

if you guys have not noticed, time is really, surely flying real fast-er than before. Sometimes, it just makes me relaize that we should really be getting ready for anything. All the events in the world is just appalling, weather wise, snow storms/blizzards, hurricanes, drought, war in the middle east, starvation, health scare issues, illnesses one has not heard of from before, it's distressing! But the good news? We have a Great and Mighty GOD who knows everything and if we choose to just submit to His Lordship, we'd be fine, no matter what!

so, as we thread February, let's see what's wonderful and hopefully, what's slow in it that we can savor, for the days of the "love" month. Cherish your love ones, your parents, your siblings, your children, and friends... Just like in Deut. 28:2 that says, " and all these blessings shall come upon you (us) and overtake you (us, meaning not to get away but to add up, be given back), if you (we) obey the voice of the Lord your God!

what tomorrow may bring...are you really ready???

2011-01-11T14:32:00.000-08:00

This early morning, i walked to the train station with this lady i see everyday and she said that she was late yeterday beause of the frost in her car adn she had to wait 5 minutes to get her car rolling. She said that 5 minutes cost her to miss her train, the doors shut down on her while on her last step of the stairs trying to catch it. Wow, and it dawned on me, that is comparing it to the unfortunate realization of being not ready to meet the Lord Jesus when He comes back again.
I got reminded in 2Cor 13:5, "Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test?" It is quite necessary to from time to time to do some self examination, jsut to make sure.
My friend whose husband is stricken with cancer is having a scare again and it's very natural to be afraid. I keep telling her that Jesus is interceding in our behalf and just like what He said to Peter in Luke22:32 , "But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not." Jesus have done it already; He have gone to court and entered a counterplea even before an accusation is made." O Jesus, what a comfort it is that You have pleaded our cause against our unseen enemies; countermined their mines, and unmasked their ambushes. Here is a matter for joy, gratitude, hope, and confidence in the Lord Jesus Christ.
As my prayer for the year is to the One who remains constant in our lives, is the ONLY Christ who is the same yesterday, today and forever more...

what's in the middle is what counts...

2010-11-16T08:27:00.000-08:00

I was trying to find a good lesson to share to my ladies group this wednesday and i came across this devotional from Rick Warren that is shared to me by Tita Cora Bautista everyday and it spoke about worrying. That God sets the date of our birthday, the date of our death, but what counts is what we do in the in between of birth and death. That made me realized how true that statement was! That rather than being worried about things, which does not add anything to our life, rather, instead, we must just pray and not worry about tomorrow because our Great God who is the provider of all our needs will indeed take care of our days. Let's be reminded instead of what is needed to live each day. That we may do the works God has imparted to us, to share His message of salvaton, to be a source of hope and encouragement to others, that our way of living will reflect the goodness of Christ.
Let not the busyness of life rob me of my time with You, my Savior, my best friend and above all, my God. That I may have more of a discerning spirit between good and evil. Lord, teach me to number my days that I may gain a heart of wisdom(Psalm 90:12) and live for You and your glory! In Jesus' Name, Amen!

2nd Round of prayers needed after Remember the Rainbow-Sept 3??

2010-10-19T11:20:00.000-07:00

The loan papers finally arrive! The Sept 3 posting was just the 1st of the round of fervent, persistent prayers. Now, it requires more fervent, more persistent prayers, probably with fasting!! I was actually quite astounded of the information, actual figures in our home loan. Not that I didn't know how it turned out that way, but greatly astounded by how much the banks make so much money from homeowners.
Today, I read anoher way to understand what it means to pray "in JESUS' Name", that In the name Jesus Christ, there is abundant power. However, calling upon Him in prayer is not a magic charm to get what we want. Rather, it is a signal that we are laying down our personal desires and our own way of getting things done. In so doing, we commit to follow God and bring honor to Him. (John 14:14)
It also reminded me that all that we have is not even ours, but HIS. Can't take a claim of ownership because we are just transients, stewards, hopefully, wise ones, and I have to shift my focus in putting our faith into another test. Hebrews 11:6 just got projected in my mind and heart. "And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him."
So, the 2nd round of this is not just praying and asking, but seeking (more) and believing that God is still in control, and that He will be the One to make "the" way for us, in the decision we have to make, that in all, it will bring honor and glory to Him.
I listened to the HillSong "none but Jesus" because i just love the line that reads "in the stillness, in the quiet I know that You are GOD" and it just brings me to a trance of of tranquility and peace, and followed it with Don Moen's "Thank you, Lord", to bring out my gratefulness despite whatever it is we are in right now. Then, there's calmness and assurance that God is watching over us.
The prayers of faithful family and trusted friends are what keeps me and Ray up because we know, we battle with all of them. My utmost gratitude to each one who remember us in prayers. I can't wait for the experiences we will thread in this new chapter of this life's journey, to see how Jesus can miraculously work His ways, in His perfect timing...
"thank you Lord, for what you've done, you're doing and still will do, even in the uncertainty of the days to come, the only assurance we have is that YOU remain faithful to us. Thank you!"

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,

for i have put my trust in You.

Show me the way i should go,

for to You i lift up my soul."

Psalm 143:8

Mara Radoc De Jesus

2010-10-11T12:51:00.000-07:00

October 8, 2010....one of my very few good friend, passed away.

To you my dear friend Mara:

no more pains, no more tears;
now, your one wish is granted,
to see the face of your Creator.

leaving behind, your husband and son,
but in God's loving care,
trust that they will be looked upon.

one day, someday, we'll see each other again,
look over us too, from where you are.

now, it's your turn give a good word to our Lord Jesus for us,
to watch over us as we continue to live in this crazy world...

i'll miss you a lot my friend.

To wait patiently...it's got its reward!!

2010-09-17T08:02:00.000-07:00

Today's reading just reminded me of simply how impatient we are. This is something that strucks me all the time, it hits a deep core in my being, because it's just TRUE! No denying, not only am I impatient, I am a sinner. Everyday I fail God, one way or another, and every night, I have to go to confessing my sins. One of it is my impatience. He says, 'His mercies are new every morning", and thankfully, I receive His mercies daily. Knowing things about us, our inner self, we all have our weaknesses, our dark secrets and onlyGod knows what it is, and there is no denying. But being the Great, Good God that He is, faithful and forgiving, and very patient with us, I know I get forgiven untiringly by Him. As the next day comes when I pray again for His portion of mercy, for strength that I may avoid falling trap into temptation, and that I be patient to wait upon Him and learn to simply hear His still small voice in the quietness of my heart while tuned into His Word.
May you be blessed by today's reading, as we continue to declare our total dependence upon Him, and no one else.

September 17
God Acts On Our Behalf
Philippians 4:6-7 -Charles Stanley

We have become so accustomed to this hurried world that we've begun to demand speed in our spiritual life too. However, God "acts on behalf of those who wait for him" (Isa. 64:4 niv). Wise believers endure until the fruits of His labor appear.
In this devotion, we'll look at three reasons believers are called upon to wait.
First, God may be preparing us to receive His blessings. Perhaps we need new skills or greater maturity. Sometimes people require fresh spiritual insight before their hands are ready to hold what their hearts desire. For example, David waited years to sit on his appointed throne. But when he did, he was a wise, strong, and battle-tested king.
Second, the Father is often teaching His children to have confidence in Him. How would believers ever learn faith if God immediately fulfilled their every request? In my own life, the Lord has often said two words: "Trust Me." And He has never been late to meet my needs. No matter how we justify rushing ahead of God, doing so amounts to saying, "I don't trust You."
Finally, the Lord will at times withhold blessing to protect us from harm we can't see. We may never find out what caused the delay. But be assured that God examines the object of our desire closely before placing it in our hands.
Waiting is rarely easy, particularly in this instant-everything world. But rushing ahead of the Lord short-circuits His plan. Believers who do are left unsatisfied, and they often must live with terrible consequences. Be patient while the Lord works out details. His best is on the way.

remember the rainbow???

2010-09-03T08:26:00.000-07:00

In my last entry, I mentioned about the rainbow, a sign God gave in the story of Noah's Ark. As most of you know, our dilemna with our home loan situation and believe it or not, it's been almost 2 yrs when i started praying for this. The process has been more or less, 1 to 1 1/2 yrs now. the group helping us notified us that the month of September is when we will find out the verdict, whether we will be approved or not. What a scare! Wild thoughts hovering over my head! But, let me go back to the rainbow story...
My mom, to me, is one person whom God has given me as a source of stretching my faith. it was her that said "this is the house!" when we step foot in our home wayback 1996. About a week or two, she told me, "avine, it is okay to ask God for a sign, Stanley said." I said, "yeah, like the rainbow in Noah's ark." Then, she said, "I saw a rainbow already, so our house problem is already answered." Of course, pessimistic me, "ye of little faith" me, just kinda' "ahum, ok..." on my way to work, i said to God, "Lord, show me a rainbow then."
My first sighting of a rainbow was when i flipped the channel for this bachelorette tv show which i don't normally watch, i just have this habit of leaving the tv on, waiting for my regular fave shows, waiting for Ray to come home from his construction project in Millbrae. When the other guy was told he is not the one for the bachelorette and while walking back before leaving the show, he saw a rainbow, and to him, it was his mom saying he'll be fine, in Fiji islands, where the show finale was...that was one rainbow i saw. The next one was in the news, online, flipping the pictures from the anticipated hurricane arrival in the east coast. In between these 2 rainbow sightings, I keep telling God, "Lord, show me a real rainbow, one I will see from the skies". But alas, nada!! But by towards the end of August, my heart is kinda' sinking in so much bad news, about friends, Nelson, Mara, Nikki, my brother Joey, and our house, to mention just a few. Then comes a devotional reading, that hit home, "ye of little faith". So I said to myself, "self, just give thanks to the Lord for everything." Boom, another rainbow on a picture, it brought a smile on my face and I just thank the Lord. Constantly, if and when i am tempterd to be in a defeated mode, I just say "Thank you Lord." I even sing it to the tune of Don Moen's version of "Thank you, Lord"
Sept 1 came, I was at work and doing some reimbursements and an email flash popped at the lower right box of my screen adn saw the lady's name who's working on our loan. I hesitated to go back to my email screen, I blinked and said to myself, "Lord, be with me", then i switched to the email, clicked on it and read it. I had to read it over and over, at least 3x because I might be reading it wrong, but it said, "In regards to your loan modification, I just want to inform you that your loan modification came back from underwriting on 8/24/2010 as approved! They are currently prepping the modification documents which should be getting sent out to you shortly. The new terms are still not known. Please let me know as soon as you receive the paperwork from your lender." I was kind of shaking, in tears, but above all, in a shocking awe of seeing God in His full, majestic, beyond human understanding miraculous ways. It's ALL HIM! My heart was truly overflowing in thanksgiving, in much gratefulness, i couldn't contain it. I called Ray first, then Ria and my mom to tell them the news. In my heart, all i could say was, even if we didn't know the terms yet, (the "thomas" in me saying "what if we can't afford the new terms?, etc..."), if God has already allowed us to go this far, HE is going to see us til the end of it! Amen, Amen, Amen!
That night, Ray and I prayed, a prayer for thanksgiving and a prayer of forgiveness, for the moments we doubted, moments when we feared and lost focus on God's faithfulness, and our moments of impatience. My prayer kept switching back and forth, until towards the end, it was still a prayer of deep, profound gratitude. It made me realized, the depth of my gratitude to the Great God, that even in the many times that I was tempted to switch back to my old self, relying on my ways and putting God aside again, that I acted upon the prompting of the Holy Spirit to just be patient, to wait, even when I am getting annoyingly impatient towards things, events and people. The reality of God's Word to wait patiently on Him, in His infinite wisdom and not depend on our silly self, to fight my own self reliance and dependence. What a great relief! What a great load released! Just like in Joshua, when the Lord said that the battle is not ours, but His, not by might, not by power but by the Spirit of God...
I know there will still be more battles to fight, so much more heartaches, disappointments and frustrations, battles to fight our own weaknesses, problems in finances, in health issues and so much more, but Psalm 84:5-7 definitely spoke loud and clear in my heart. He allowed me, my soul to be so weakened, to have nothing and learn the sacred truth to admit that my Help only comes from the Lord Jesus Christ, the One who is Mighty to save, that God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever, in my uttermost weakness, His strength is made perfect. My comfort is that they will go strength to strength (v.7) even if I go through the valley of Baca, Valley of weeping, because joy comes in the morning, His mercies are new every morning.
As always, my prayer is for everyone who will read this to build up their faith in the Lord God Almighty, to never disregard the cross, the ultimate sacrifice and form of the greatest love of love God has ever shown us, despite our weaknesses, shortcomings and great sins. The test is when we are at the bottom pit and making the choice whom to submit to and obey. Rejoice with us in this 1st victory and in continuous intercession for all the saints in need of heaven's grace. Let us storm heaven's gates with our faith filled prayers because, as Charles Stanley puts it, God did not design prayer as simply an avenue for requests; spending time in conversation with our heavenly Father is meant to help us know and love Him more, allow Him to find delight in us when we spend time with Him and when life turns into an aventure of faith.
Have a great Labor day weekend everyone, and be safe.

Jesus said, Let me do my work....

2010-08-12T08:42:00.000-07:00

in my earlier blog posting, i spoke of all my close friends stricken with the Big "C". I had my moment Tuesday morning when i got 3 emails, Monday night from Bebo about Nikki's ER surgery adn diagnosis, then an update from two of my best friends, Mara and Helen. The news were just devastating and before i got out of the car, I asked my husband if we could pray first, and we did. I kept asking the question why all these sad news, what else can i do to help them out? In a moment, all i could say was, "i don't know anymore what i can still do". Then getting in to work, i got an email from from Ria, it was Job 5:18, and the a devotional from Charles Stanley and it was about discouragement and all these Psalms were in there. Psalm 3:2-4; 16:7-8; 63:6-8; 77:12; 119:15. I read it all, over and over until I heard the very still small voice of God telling me. "Stop trying to work it, this is where it ends for you. Let me do my work, from this point on. TRUST me!!!" Whammmm, as always, it's not about me, it's about HIM, and His mighty power, Him being the great JEHOVAH, the great I am. Loud and clear, just stay focus on Him and no one else, just Him......
"Jesus, You're such an awesome God. Just like what bebo share, we will give you the chance to move. So, we will wait patiently for Your wonder miracles. Give me the rainbow, show me that yes, indeed, it is done!".

more blessed to give than to receive ..acts 20:35

2010-08-04T12:44:00.000-07:00

The past weeks have been news about family members and close friends stricken with life threatening illnesses. My good friend Mara, who is fighting cancer, from breast cancer to now a cancerous lymph node found in her neck, and has been hurting physically, pain all over her body and hardly any strength to move. My nephew Manuel who was diagnosed with only one kidney and it causes so many negative effects in his physiological parts, not to mention the many effects of the many medications he takes. My friend Nelson, who had lung cancer, but is having a hard time dealing with the after effects of the massive chemo/radiation treatment he underwent. Last night, the shocking news about Nikki Bharwani, with a cancerous tumor in her uterus, resulting to taking out her right ovary adn fallopian tube. That at a young age, she had to go through this. Though no conclusive result yet as to the stage of cancer.......waiting. My brother who needs a colonoscopy but has no money to pay for it. My youngest brother who is worried about where he will stay after this year, and so much more...
I want to say how grateful I am that despite all medical appointments i had, yearly checkup, uterine biopsy and mamomgram, as bragging as it may sound, is the truth that I am still thankful because I am in good health, I have insurance that covers my medical needs. But it's not about me...it's about those who are in true and dire need.
It led me to read the book of Habakkuk. Today also, while listening to KFAX, one of the pastor preacher said something about our God being not the God that says, "opppssss"! In chapter 3, verses 18-19, it gave me comfort that I can have all the questions I have for my family members and friends' state and conditions, yet it teaches me to wait patiently. I need to rest in God's sufficiency. I may never know God's specific plans for each of them, and though I do not see any outward indications that the Lord is working in their lives, I am assured that HE has not neglected them, that HE continually watches over them. For that, "I will be joyful in God my Saviour."
Though I have been going to the same people to ask for monetary help, and as disheartening that only the same people respond, I will continue to ask for help so we can help and bless others who are truly in need.

2010-07-01T10:05:00.000-07:00

This was a devitonal shared by Ria to me today and somehow, my last enry kind of tied up with this. Enjoy the read and hope it helps in your daily walk with god and in your own personal spiritual growth...

Our Daily Bread Radio is hosted by Les Lamborn
Read: Matthew 6:25-34
Do not worry about tomorrow. —Matthew 6:34
I was worrying about a few things as I sat in my car under a shade tree at lunchtime. Then a robin, with a fat worm dangling from its mouth, landed near my door and looked up at me. The robin was a vivid reminder to me of Jesus’ words in Matthew 6:25-26, “Do not worry about your life . . . . Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them.

Are you not of more value than they?”

Years ago, in an article in the Denver Seminary magazine Focal Point, Paul Borden gave some helpful suggestions for worriers:
Start a worry list. Write down what you’re worried about. The bills. Your job. Your children or grandchildren. Your health. The future.
Turn your worry list into a prayer list. Ask the Lord to work in those situations you’re concerned about. Pray specifically for your needs and depend on Him.
Turn your prayer list into an action list. If you have any insight that there’s something you can do about your cares, do it. As we turn our worries into prayer and action, Borden says, “Paralyzing anxiety can be replaced by concern for the responsibilities of life.”
Why not start your list right now?
Don’t fret about the future

Or be consumed by cares;

Instead take all your worries

And turn them into prayers. —Sper
What you have made a matter of prayer should cease to be a matter of care.

Help, Lord (Ps12:1a)

2010-06-25T12:07:00.000-07:00

...frustration of a husband with daily work & finances and can't offer any help;
...daughter's frustration with the love one's hypocritical lifestyle;
...friends with lung and breast cancer in remission, and are physically feeling very weak;
...a mother and daughter friend struggling with a relationship;
...worry about home loan situation;
...health problems of family members;
...jobless family and friends;
...temptations of sin lurking around our lives;
...moments we want to just fret, whine and scream how unfair life is;
...times when we feel alone, lonely, empty and unnoticed;
...co-workers and bosses who are just impossible;
...and so on and so forth.

Psalm 61-:1-4 " Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe. I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings. "

Isn't God just amazing! That even in the midst of life's chaos, He reminds us always that it is HE alone that we can go to and depend on. Though, some does not give us answers to our problems, HE gives us comfort instead. Despite our weakest, yet He remains and gives us the ounce of strength we need to go on., the hope to cling on to until the day of His return.

There is the reality of hell and the promise of heaven, and yes, another day to remain hopeful!

Revelation 22:12-13

"Behold, I am coming soon! My reward is with me,

and I will give to everyone according to what he has done.

I am the Alpha and the Omega,

the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.

"and surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

Matthew 28:20b

What a blessed assurance. Thank you, JESUS!

2010-06-23T07:46:00.000-07:00

It's been a long while. Simply because i'm no tech savvy and due to memory lapse, forgot my password and 2010 was just a busy year. I started a new job away from Pediatrics, and went to H-STAR Institute (Human Sciences Technology Advance Research). Well, I have to Praise God because despite the busyness, I still have a job. I serve 5 directors, and believe me, it's not quite fun, adding to it setting up seminars and workshops and all it's additions, I get my crazy days, very tired days, but over all, still good. God's word in 1Thess 5:18 "Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" just makes me realize and appreciate whatever is in front of me, day in and day out. I love the area where I am at, it's by the oval, the center of the university. I love working here at Stanford because the environment is so wonderful. When I am too overwhelmed at work, I just step outside and walk around, sit inside the church and it gives me rest and some peace and quietness. Walking along Palm Drive gives me a glimpse of God's greatness, goodness and awesome work because it is just a wonderful sight to behold specially in the early morning when it is still empty and not busy. Being in the center of the campus, it gives me a sense of where God is, that He Himself is in the center and can simply keep an eye on me, no matter where I am. I can't help but be reminded His word in Psalm 5:3,"Listen to my voice in the morning Lord. Each morning I bring my requests to You and wait expectantly." That He is there, right in the center of my life and is hearing me, whenever I call unto Him. It gives me the strength to face the day..."Thank you Lord Jesus, for being the God of the universe, for hearing my tiny voice despite the vastness of your creation. For in You, I am special."

2009-12-07T13:41:00.000-08:00

I would want...
a heart after God like David;
a faith like Abrahan;
zeal and persistence like Paul;
wisdon just as Solomon have asked;
to be prayerful like Daniel;
obedience like Noah...
..then, i need not worry about riches of this world!!!

almost Christmas....

2009-12-03T09:10:00.001-08:00

I was in my late 20's when i fully grasped the whole idea of what Christmas truly is. It wasn't the gifts nor the money, but the birth of Jesus Christ, the DAY that "my" Savior was born. It was humbling for me because at that point, the value of material gifts, or money, all of a sudden got ranked down. Those were the years when being "Born again" gave it a very meaningful realization to my life.
Year 2009, seemed a year where all over the world, all fo a sudden, is in shambles. The realty business was awful, i have many friends that lost their home and we ourselves are in a predicament too. Through prayers, am learning how to put my utmost dependence on our Lord Jesus because this is just beyond us...Putting my hope and asking God daily to calm my fears and doubts. That everyday given to me is enough blessing and that I must learn how to be consumed by His presence in my life. It does not feel that way everyday, but the least I can do, is to be thankful that the Holy Spirit makes me conscious that I should and put in a little bit more effort to do so...walk the talk, as they say.
This Christmas time, it may not be all about gifts in my household, but more of the love of family, time we can share, prayers we can lift up and faith that we intend to keep. As the Korean drama characters says, "Fighting!!", but in finality is God's word in Philippians 1:6,
"being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you (that's us) will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." I say "Amen".

Thanksgiving 2009

2009-12-01T12:06:00.000-08:00

We were in Benicia, in Jules and Tim's home and when asked what we were thankful for, Mom managed to bring tears to our eyes in what she shared. She said that she is thankful that she is quite over the physical pain of her recent accident which she thought would never end.
During the hospital/rehab days, i knew she was in pain, in every area of her life, i'm sure. However, hearing her confess it, it must have been really physically painful, the ordeal she had to go through, and still, she declared God's faithfulness to her. Now, that's thanksgiving from the heart. Nowadays, she is more mobile, no more walker, but just a cane, and top it all, now rolling lumpias but on a minimal quantity still. The "Shanghai Queen" is back!!
So family, relatives and church, thank you all for lifting her up in prayers. I knew deep inside me, it's the prayers of the faithful that helped her go through her sufferings, ordeal and pain, and we can truly declare, our GOD is the God that heals, who is forever faithful.

hello world...

2009-11-30T21:24:00.001-08:00

happy thanksgiving!