Friday, September 3, 2010

remember the rainbow???

In my last entry, I mentioned about the rainbow, a sign God gave in the story of Noah's Ark. As most of you know, our dilemna with our home loan situation and believe it or not, it's been almost 2 yrs when i started praying for this. The process has been more or less, 1 to 1 1/2 yrs now. the group helping us notified us that the month of September is when we will find out the verdict, whether we will be approved or not. What a scare! Wild thoughts hovering over my head! But, let me go back to the rainbow story...
My mom, to me, is one person whom God has given me as a source of stretching my faith. it was her that said "this is the house!" when we step foot in our home wayback 1996. About a week or two, she told me, "avine, it is okay to ask God for a sign, Stanley said." I said, "yeah, like the rainbow in Noah's ark." Then, she said, "I saw a rainbow already, so our house problem is already answered." Of course, pessimistic me, "ye of little faith" me, just kinda' "ahum, ok..." on my way to work, i said to God, "Lord, show me a rainbow then."
My first sighting of a rainbow was when i flipped the channel for this bachelorette tv show which i don't normally watch, i just have this habit of leaving the tv on, waiting for my regular fave shows, waiting for Ray to come home from his construction project in Millbrae. When the other guy was told he is not the one for the bachelorette and while walking back before leaving the show, he saw a rainbow, and to him, it was his mom saying he'll be fine, in Fiji islands, where the show finale was...that was one rainbow i saw. The next one was in the news, online, flipping the pictures from the anticipated hurricane arrival in the east coast. In between these 2 rainbow sightings, I keep telling God, "Lord, show me a real rainbow, one I will see from the skies". But alas, nada!! But by towards the end of August, my heart is kinda' sinking in so much bad news, about friends, Nelson, Mara, Nikki, my brother Joey, and our house, to mention just a few. Then comes a devotional reading, that hit home, "ye of little faith". So I said to myself, "self, just give thanks to the Lord for everything." Boom, another rainbow on a picture, it brought a smile on my face and I just thank the Lord. Constantly, if and when i am tempterd to be in a defeated mode, I just say "Thank you Lord." I even sing it to the tune of Don Moen's version of "Thank you, Lord"
Sept 1 came, I was at work and doing some reimbursements and an email flash popped at the lower right box of my screen adn saw the lady's name who's working on our loan. I hesitated to go back to my email screen, I blinked and said to myself, "Lord, be with me", then i switched to the email, clicked on it and read it. I had to read it over and over, at least 3x because I might be reading it wrong, but it said, "In regards to your loan modification, I just want to inform you that your loan modification came back from underwriting on 8/24/2010 as approved! They are currently prepping the modification documents which should be getting sent out to you shortly. The new terms are still not known. Please let me know as soon as you receive the paperwork from your lender." I was kind of shaking, in tears, but above all, in a shocking awe of seeing God in His full, majestic, beyond human understanding miraculous ways. It's ALL HIM! My heart was truly overflowing in thanksgiving, in much gratefulness, i couldn't contain it. I called Ray first, then Ria and my mom to tell them the news. In my heart, all i could say was, even if we didn't know the terms yet, (the "thomas" in me saying "what if we can't afford the new terms?, etc..."), if God has already allowed us to go this far, HE is going to see us til the end of it! Amen, Amen, Amen!
That night, Ray and I prayed, a prayer for thanksgiving and a prayer of forgiveness, for the moments we doubted, moments when we feared and lost focus on God's faithfulness, and our moments of impatience. My prayer kept switching back and forth, until towards the end, it was still a prayer of deep, profound gratitude. It made me realized, the depth of my gratitude to the Great God, that even in the many times that I was tempted to switch back to my old self, relying on my ways and putting God aside again, that I acted upon the prompting of the Holy Spirit to just be patient, to wait, even when I am getting annoyingly impatient towards things, events and people. The reality of God's Word to wait patiently on Him, in His infinite wisdom and not depend on our silly self, to fight my own self reliance and dependence. What a great relief! What a great load released! Just like in Joshua, when the Lord said that the battle is not ours, but His, not by might, not by power but by the Spirit of God...
I know there will still be more battles to fight, so much more heartaches, disappointments and frustrations, battles to fight our own weaknesses, problems in finances, in health issues and so much more, but Psalm 84:5-7 definitely spoke loud and clear in my heart. He allowed me, my soul to be so weakened, to have nothing and learn the sacred truth to admit that my Help only comes from the Lord Jesus Christ, the One who is Mighty to save, that God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever, in my uttermost weakness, His strength is made perfect. My comfort is that they will go strength to strength (v.7) even if I go through the valley of Baca, Valley of weeping, because joy comes in the morning, His mercies are new every morning.
As always, my prayer is for everyone who will read this to build up their faith in the Lord God Almighty, to never disregard the cross, the ultimate sacrifice and form of the greatest love of love God has ever shown us, despite our weaknesses, shortcomings and great sins. The test is when we are at the bottom pit and making the choice whom to submit to and obey. Rejoice with us in this 1st victory and in continuous intercession for all the saints in need of heaven's grace. Let us storm heaven's gates with our faith filled prayers because, as Charles Stanley puts it, God did not design prayer as simply an avenue for requests; spending time in conversation with our heavenly Father is meant to help us know and love Him more, allow Him to find delight in us when we spend time with Him and when life turns into an aventure of faith.
Have a great Labor day weekend everyone, and be safe.

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